Once Upon A Wolvog

Stories from the front lines

So, like, are we…. a thing?

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Throughout all 3 novels in the MaddAddam trilogy, there has been an underlying theme of uncertainty within relationships. Moreover, the tension between Zeb and Toby is explored more thoroughly in the third novel.

Zeb showed a similar difficulty with commitment with Ren’s mom Lucerne in The Year After the Flood. Now in this novel, Toby finds herself once again in a love triangle mess, competing with Swift Fox for Zeb. Toby finds herself questioning many of Zeb’s actions and she is constantly on the watch for any signs of connection with him and Swift Fox. And as much as Zeb never provides Toby with a concrete yes or no to her obvious suspicion he does sometimes make it seem as though she has “nothing to worry about”.

 

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I personally believe this is something that is so prevalent today, especially within the younger generations. The meaning of a relationships, for a lack of better words, has completely gone to shits. Younger generations, are so focused on getting set in their careers or spending time experiencing their lives that they forget about settling down and having a steady partner. We’re the generation of change, we always want the newest of everything, the newest iPhones, the newest sneakers, where’s the newest travel destination, we can’t even commit to a steady eating schedule so how are we supposed to commit to one person for the rest of our lives. A better way to put it according to Caroline Beaton is that we’re considered the “hook up generation”.

 

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But back to the key issue at heart, people have become so used to the vicious cycle of getting out of a toxic relationship that has scarred them with trust issues and then never being able to trust a person ever again. It is a seemingly pressing issue when it has literally become normalized for girls and guys to be psycho girlfriends/boyfriends, this has become a phenomena that is seen as normal when in fact it isn’t… AT ALL. What ever happened to good old monogamy

As we see in MaddAddam, Toby seems as though she is afraid to demand a commitment on Zeb’s end, she is even too afraid to ask whether or not he is also fooling around with Swift Fox, “So. Stalemate. It’s for him to know and for her to try to refrain from finding out” (Atwood 220). I believe the same thing is something that often happens with people trying to figure out relationships in todays world.

To leave you off with something to reflect on, beyond all of the obvious social changes, what has fundamentally happened for us to have reached such a broken way of doing the whole relationship thing, I mean really, how have we gotten to this point?

 

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I invite you to read a little beyond my brief analysis through these articles.

A More Personal View

A More Informative View

 

 

Sources:

https://www.elevated.com/3-lessons-i-learned-in-my-first-3-months-in-seo/

https://www.theodysseyonline.com/from-girl-ready-settle-down

http://www.gurl.com/2015/04/15/unexpected-struggles-of-long-distance-relationships/

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9 thoughts on “So, like, are we…. a thing?

  1. Interesting post. Do you think the high rate of divorce / parental separation has created this mess? Perhaps people our age don’t have good role models as far as relationships go? Maybe it’s not all our fault, perhaps we just don’t know how to navigate the complexities of long-term romantic relationships because we haven’t been taught. We’re still young, I suppose only time can reveal whether or not the majority of our generation will continue on this path…
    Additionally, perhaps Toby is paranoid because she lacks confidence in her appearance?
    🙂

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  2. As you said, nowadays young people put more effort into getting the latest cell phone, car, etc. because this is what friends are expecting of us. If you do not have this cell phone or that car, you do not feel included. But, there is also the fact that some parents still emphasized the importance of getting a good education before thinking about having a girlfriend/boyfriend. Having this in mind, you prefer to hang out (nothing serious, I mean we are young and we like to have fun), make plans with friends, and travel because “you got to live a life you will remember”.

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  3. Nice topic! I totally agree that this is a prevalent issue with our generation. So many of my close friends can’t even get a guy/girl to commit enough to even call what they have a relationship; not to mention that they usually end things before strong feelings even get to develop. Someone saying they “caught the feels” actually gives a negative connotation to simply falling for someone. I agree that young people these days are obsessed with change and new things, but I think that many are also pessimistic when it comes to love.

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  4. This topic is something that I’ve thought about for a long time. Although I don’t believe that people have ‘forgotten’ about settling down and committing to one person in the end (after all, some people just don’t want that and that’s totally okay) I believe that most people are using their youthful life to give more time to exploring and understanding themselves as opposed to relying on someone else to make them whole early on. I think that’s pretty healthy, considering we are the children of a generation where divorce reached breakthrough levels. That being said, I don’t think that the media is helping us to promote healthy relationships. I feel like in most sit-coms and dramas available these days, most of what is represented is unhealthy or represents a lack of communication especially when faced with tough problems and decisions. I’ve also seen the classic “cheating” plot used more often than I think is healthy. In my opinion it’s not only making us suspicious of our partner, it’s preventing us from trusting and establishing a healthy foundation in our relationships.

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  5. I totally agree and relate to what you’re trying to say. I feel like people our age just want to have fun, no one really wants to settle down and have something serious with another person because if we’re being real, not all relationships at this age last, in my opinion. I feel like people want to experience different things and have fun, and eventually they will come to a realization that it’s time for them to get serious and become an adult and be responsible. Although nobody actually wants to commit to another person, people still get jealous and this causes suspicion to some and they have to wonder if they should trust this person or not.

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  6. Interesting post. Honestly, I find it sad that our generation are in a constant search for the newest trends in shoes and other materialistic things. Many people will think of themselves and how they look, instead of how they act. You can tell with people’s attitudes that they are trying to portray which isn’t a personality that you should brag about. Like I see posts and comments about being ‘’savage’’, having ‘’no chill’, etc. I don’t get what is so cool in being careless about everything and being an ass. So when you think of relationships, many will want to act like they don’t care. Also, I find it sad that this generation will stop relationships when they stumble upon a bump. Like it is normal to have ups and downs. It is not a Disney movie. Like each partner expect to much from each other. Not only that this is an issue, but like you mentioned about the psycho bf and gf, THIS IS NOT NORMAL, like I get you can be suspicious, but I find that there is more a case of insecurities with themselves more than anything else. So I believe that if you want a relationship to work, you have to do efforts, stay strong and let your partner be free. Watch them do what they do. Love is way more beautiful if you have no control on them and they still decide to come to you out of everyone else.

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  7. I have to say this was blog post is definitely one of the best posts I have read so far! Your writing was clear and you brought up a lot of great points! To add a little bit more to what you said, I also believe that the way you are brought up will determine how attracted you are to a committed relationship. For example, I have a friend who’s parents aren’t together and I can definitely tell that he looks at relationships in a different way (Not being able to stay in something committed) than someone who’s parents are together and generally happy.

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  8. I really loved this post because of how relatable and relevant to life and the books it is. My friend is in what we call a “situationship” which is basically what Zeb and Toby are. At first glance they look like a relationship, and they do relationship-y things, but neither of them would admit to being in a relationship. I feel like this popularity of the situationship comes from a fear of commitment, based on celebrity relationships always ending badly.

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  9. I do believe that as this generation is moving forward, our mindsets and experiences are constantly evolving in comparison to those our parents once had. Although there is a distinction between generations, I do not believe that our current generation is acting different, more so that we are acting more overtly. In the book, we know that Zeb’s mother aids in the murder of the Rev’s ex-wife for her personal gain. However, Amanda, who is part of the next generation sleeps around with a Gardener boy to advantage herself. Perspective may change, but there is not much that is new regarding human behavior.

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